7 weeks and it's finally over. I have been rejoicing openly. But I owe thank yous.
I thought that the last 7 weeks were one of the hardest I went through. Could be that I'm not mature enough, not smart enough, not resilient enough. Compared to what many others in the world go through, i guess this wouldn't be much. In fact, probably many would give up just to be in my place, to have some form of occupation, to be studying and not worrying about finances I had to keep reminding myself that suffering produces perserverance, and that perserverance must finish its work so that i will be mature and complete, not be lacking anything (James 1: 2-4) But try as i might, it was hard to keep my own spirits upbeat, to keep myself from crying week after week. Literally, I don't ever think I've cried so much in my life. Don't even think I've cried as much in the past 2 years as I have in 6 weeks. Thank you mummy and sis for being there for me, for drying my tears each time they came and for letting me cry. For all the lovely smses too my mother sent. It's funny, cause my mum just learnt to sms not to long ago. And my dad, who makes the effort to send me when he's back in Singapore. It's sooo awfully far Thank you too, to all my friends who've encouraged me in their small ways. Mag and Jia xuan for telling me to jia you every morning Mag, Kinny, Ness and Nac for sending me everything related to hands Val, Cher, Khad, Dexter, Jess, Becca, King, Zhen and others if i've forgotten for sending me lovely smses. Val and Dexter esp for coming all the way down to have lunch with me. (anyway, the avacado smootie wasn't all that nice :( ) My cell girls and the church prayer group for praying, for being consistent in meeting up. I looked forward to cell and bible study every single week! It meant that i got through the week. hahaha Cheryl for meeting me, and knowing that you were working hard too or every harder helped.
Strangely enough, I'm thankful to my supervisors. They are nice people. The reason why I had such a hard time would be simply cause I can't measure up. Not their fault at all.
Finally, thankful to God. It was amazing that on one night, I was feeling really down and yet i had to stay up to do my lit review, prepare slides and script for FYP/conference but I wasn't tired at all. I found this source of renewed strength. I managed to stay up all the way till 4.30. And the many times after crying, somehow there was that strength to keep going on, and not to throw in the towel despite thoughts of giving up running through my head. Really- I know that it's not my own strength that has brought me through.
The extra week, though has brought a sense of closure. The room tidying has resulted in the massive tearing of 7 weeks worth of documentation. My room needs further tidying. I need to punch holes and file them proper. ahahah. I hope the neat freak in me comes out again. It has stayed dormant for more than a decade. And please, goad me to exercise like mad, to rest like mad and to not damage my sleep deprived calorie laden body further.
7 weeks and it's finally over. I have been rejoicing openly. But I owe thank yous.
I thought that the last 7 weeks were one of the hardest I went through. Could be that I'm not mature enough, not smart enough, not resilient enough. Compared to what many others in the world go through, i guess this wouldn't be much. In fact, probably many would give up just to be in my place, to have some form of occupation, to be studying and not worrying about finances I had to keep reminding myself that suffering produces perserverance, and that perserverance must finish its work so that i will be mature and complete, not be lacking anything (James 1: 2-4) But try as i might, it was hard to keep my own spirits upbeat, to keep myself from crying week after week. Literally, I don't ever think I've cried so much in my life. Don't even think I've cried as much in the past 2 years as I have in 6 weeks. Thank you mummy and sis for being there for me, for drying my tears each time they came and for letting me cry. For all the lovely smses too my mother sent. It's funny, cause my mum just learnt to sms not to long ago. And my dad, who makes the effort to send me when he's back in Singapore. It's sooo awfully far Thank you too, to all my friends who've encouraged me in their small ways. Mag and Jia xuan for telling me to jia you every morning Mag, Kinny, Ness and Nac for sending me everything related to hands Val, Cher, Khad, Dexter, Jess, Becca, King, Zhen and others if i've forgotten for sending me lovely smses. Val and Dexter esp for coming all the way down to have lunch with me. (anyway, the avacado smootie wasn't all that nice :( ) My cell girls and the church prayer group for praying, for being consistent in meeting up. I looked forward to cell and bible study every single week! It meant that i got through the week. hahaha Cheryl for meeting me, and knowing that you were working hard too or every harder helped.
Strangely enough, I'm thankful to my supervisors. They are nice people. The reason why I had such a hard time would be simply cause I can't measure up. Not their fault at all.
Finally, thankful to God. It was amazing that on one night, I was feeling really down and yet i had to stay up to do my lit review, prepare slides and script for FYP/conference but I wasn't tired at all. I found this source of renewed strength. I managed to stay up all the way till 4.30. And the many times after crying, somehow there was that strength to keep going on, and not to throw in the towel despite thoughts of giving up running through my head. Really- I know that it's not my own strength that has brought me through.
The extra week, though has brought a sense of closure. The room tidying has resulted in the massive tearing of 7 weeks worth of documentation. My room needs further tidying. I need to punch holes and file them proper. ahahah. I hope the neat freak in me comes out again. It has stayed dormant for more than a decade. And please, goad me to exercise like mad, to rest like mad and to not damage my sleep deprived calorie laden body further.
Although the fig tree shall not blossom
neither shall fruit be in the vines;
the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat;
the flock shall be cut off from the fold,
and there shall be no herd in the stalls:
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
This lullaby is only a few words
A simple run of chords
Quiet here in this spare room
But you can hear it, hear it
Wherever you may go
I will let you down
But this lullaby plays on
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Thanksgiving
